


i can’t let myself stop missing you

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, jeno’s dead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22870510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: after mark loses the love of his life. he struggles to keep himself from falling again after meeting jaemin’s friend donghyuck, who never seems to stop smiling
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Mark Lee
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	i can’t let myself stop missing you

it had been two months now. two months since the life has been sucked out of him. two months since he’d last felt truly happy. two months… since he lost the love of his life.

mark barely left his room, choosing to stay tucked in the warmth of his blankets, the only feeling of warmth he got anymore. the queen sized bed that used to be for two now seemed so big as mark would sprawl himself across the mattress. 

his house was always silent, ramen cups laid empty across his wooden floors and the kitchen left untouched. it seemed as though he’d never recover, the only sound he’d utter was the deep exhale of a sigh straight from his aching heart.

jeno… his precious jeno…

the thoughts of his now deceased lover never left his head. chewed at mind like a rabid dog. the realisation that he’d never see jeno again weighed down on him, chaining him down from continuing his life like normal. it stung, a deep sting that had him restless for days on end.

the gunshot would replay in his head, over and over. and mark would flinch every time, bringing his hands up over his head to protect himself from an attacker that wasn’t there. if only he wasn’t so pathetic… if only that… maybe he could’ve protected his poor jeno.

mark heaves a sigh, lifting his head from its place sunken into the pillow and glances at the time. 1:04pm. after slight resistance from his body, he drags himself out of bed and out into the lounge room, phone in hand. as collapsed onto the cushioned surface of his couch and opens his phone.

13 new messages

mark’s finger hovers over the notification before he begrudgingly presses down on the screen.

mum: darling i’m worried about you, please call soon x

lucas: how’re you doing? i’ll come see you soon

jaemin: mark you need to get out, im coming over

mark does a double take after reading jaemin’s message and groans, checking the time stamp.

10 minutes ago

he rubs the skin of his face, lips pulling apart to make an obscene squelching sound as he pulls himself up from the couch to change. 

once returned to his room, he pulls a jumper over his torso and retrieves a pair of jeans to pull over the expanse of his legs. soon after this, the doorbell rings, and mark swings his legs off the bed and trudged over to the front door.

after opening the wooden door, he’s greeted by jaemin, who sends him a guilty smile.

“hey…”

jaemin’s voice is soft, almost as if he thought mark would break if he spoke any louder.

“hi.” mark returns the greeting, surprised by how croaky his voice is.

jaemin frowns, stepping into mark’s home with quiet steps. no other words are exchanged as jaemin silently works on cleaning the house whilst mark lies on his couch, staring at the ceiling.

once jaemin has completed the task, he wipes his hands on his jeans and turns back to mark.

“let’s go out.” he speaks up, breaking the silence of marks home.

mark doesn’t protest, knowing it was pointless to argue with the pink haired male and slowly puts on his shoes before getting dragged out of the house and into jaemin’s car.

“where are we going anyways?” mark questions, his fingers curled around the dip in the door.

“for coffee.” jaemin replies simply, their conversation coming to an end.

soon enough they arrive, jaemin parking the car around the back of the cafe before they both exit the vehicle and move inside. jaemin quietly explains that he’ll order and moves to the counter, telling mark to take a seat.

after observing the quaint cafe, mark decides to take a seat towards the back of the open space. he sits down,  
immediately hiding his face in his arms that are sprawled out across the table.

after what feels like hours, jaemin returns with their drinks and quietly tells mark to move off the table so he can place them down. mark obliges despite the complaint of his muscles and leans back in his seat. jaemin places their beverages on the flat surface and turns to mark with his lips pursed. 

“hey mark..?” jaemin utters softly, taking a sip of his drink.

“yeah?”

jaemin sucks in a breath, playing with his fingers before continuing.

“i invited a friend.” 

mark’s face falls, placing his drink back down on the granite table.

“why?”

mark’s voice comes out as something close to a whisper before he quickly shuts up as jaemin’s head spins around to greet this friend.

mark lifts his head in curiosity, light brown hair peeking out from behind jaemin.

“hey nana!” the voice greets, it’s loud, and a stark difference to everything in mark’s life recently causing him to squint.

the boy is about average height with fluffy brown hair and kind eyes. he stands beside jaemin and grins at mark’s friend with ease. he was attractive, mark could easily note that (and reckons you’d have to be blind not to). but there was an aura about him, it was as though the boy shined in the light of the day, an almost blinding light. 

“you must be mark.” the shining boy had now averted his attention to mark, who was staring at him with a gobsmacked expression.

mark shuts his mouth, cheeks igniting in a soft pink as he looks up at the owner of the voice. mark nods in response, too enamoured to voice a confirmation.

“i’m donghyuck, but you can just call me hyuck.” the boy, now identifiable as donghyuck flashed him a bright smile that almost floored mark entirely.

“it’s nice to meet you.” mark mumbles, before busying his mouth to sip on his coffee.

donghyuck soon returns his attention to jaemin, and the two fall into casual conversation and mark finds that he can’t take his eyes away from the other. donghyuck really glowed, mark was convinced. the way his lips turned into a smile and his eyes scrunched slightly. or the way he’d pout when jaemin would recount a story to him, focused on every single word.

it wasn’t okay.

mark caught himself in his thoughts, the first time since jeno had passed since the deceased boy wasn’t on his mind and mark scrambled to his feet. he muttered an apology before scurrying out of the cafe, drink abandoned with the two with confused faces.

mark wouldn’t let himself forget jeno. mark couldn’t fall for someone else. and donghyuck had the potential to do both of those things. 

donghyuck was dangerous, like a flame ready to ignite.


End file.
